g-friends, BFFs, and stalkers, oh my

when i was a young girl, my g-ma said that you should only be able to count your friends on one hand. she had three. the cute thing was they all had names that started with an M. my g-ma outlived two of them, but i remember when marge died. it was like my g-ma had lost her sister. she was devastated. 

i have had some interesting encounters with women over the years who claimed to be my friend, or insinuated themselves into my life because they wanted to be my friend. they did not have a clue to what the word friend means. the thing these women did have in common, was they drove the knife in deep when you least expected. they made it their business to be in my business so that they could talk about me. they were haters. they were stalkers. funny how they did not realize that i knew who and what they were. it's good to know who your enemies are. 

i love my girlfriends. you can't go through life without your girlfriends. when wonderful things happen to you, they are thrilled and excited and will celebrate with you. when you take on a new venture, they support you and pull out the safety net just in case. when you look like hell after three days of labor, they tell you that you are beautiful, bring you flowers, and change your baby's diaper. when you're trying on a dress and the salesgirl tells you it's great on you, they will tell you to put on a girdle cuz your ass is big as a bus in that dress. when that man breaks your heart, they are there for you with tissues, chocolate, wine, and a funny ass movie. and when you need an extra pair of eyes and ears, they will help you mother your children. girlfriends love and accept you just the way you are. 

i have an urban family...my village. these are the friends that are related to you even though not by blood. some knew you back in the day...and others meshed with you more recently.  some that are still there after decades have passed, and you've made a lifetime of memories together. those for real friends that you have reached this level of comfort and connection with that no one else gets. the ones who truly truly truly know and understand you. the ones that never leave no matter what because you are family. blood brothers and sisters without the need to pierce the skin. and yes, i do believe in multiple BFFs because i have them. they are each unique and beautiful and amazing. i love them better than siblings. and yes, i can count them on one hand.

sometimes a girl just wants to wear boardshorts

my search for boardshorts was getting me huhu. i stopped wearing bikinis about four years ago, but the one piece is not comfortable even when they are sized "tall". then finally, someone got smart and started making boardshorts for girls. but tiny girls. ugh. i had no luck finding normal or average sizes even when searching online. none at all.

on my first holiday to hawai'i, i was certain to find boardshorts in a local surf shop so no worries, right? that was what i thought. i was running into the same issue over there...like sizes 0 - 9! GMAFB [if you are a 0, your ass shouldn't be in boardshorts anyway. go get you something to eat and put some normal weight on.] so like don't they get it that the healthy girls don't always want their butts hanging out? well, after hitting up every surf shop on waikiki and over on the north shore, i was pretty frustrated. if roxy can make t-shirts and hoodies in my size...why not boardshorts?

so i started talking to the local girls working in the shops in hale'iva, because let's face it, hawai'ian sisters are healthy girls. i'm like, "sister, what is up with these tiny little sizes in the stores? hawai'ian women are healthy...where do you local girls get your boardshorts? i see the surfer girls have them, so i know someone is selling them."

this is what they all told me...the surf shops are primarily owned by chinese who don't even consider women bigger than them when ordering clothing for their stores. for them the shorts are fashion so they don't consider the sizes of the girls out there who are actually working the waves, right? that's just crazy. the exciting thing was that i did find out where healthy local girls get their board shorts...the aloha bowl swap meet! that place is not to be missed for one thing because everything you could possibly want is there!

so i was huhu no more when i found my shorts! i just love them and bought a few in different colors, too! boardshorts are the best alternative to bikini bottoms. trust me.

something i wrote...

i was contemplating on what i would write about today but i do not have much time. i have a huge assignment to work on, and then i have to get my yoga practice in. so i decided that i would post something that i wrote previously, as i have a lot of these tidbits stashed on my computer or scribbled in a journal. here it goes:

couples day

no, there is no special sales reward if you show up as a couple at our store...it's just that today, there seemed to be a great wave of couples, more so than usual. generally, they are young ones...just starting out, fresh looks on their faces, armed with their lists to select items for their wedding registry. or the ones that have been in it a few years, still trying to figure one another out and what is marriage really about, he's pushing a stroller, or she's ripe as a summer peach and round as a basketball. that's the general population i deal with in my position as a design studio specialist...the girl who gets to sit on sofas with you, gives you fabric samples, questions your lifestyle, and then tells you exactly what you need so you are no longer confused and terrified about buying your first piece of real adult furniture. that's me.

but today was different. today my couples were my age and older. they were seasoned veterans of love, with years of partnering shoulder to shoulder as they faced life's ups and downs. that's who was out shopping today. and they all wanted to talk to me. not the other younger associates. it was if i were a magnetic force they gravitated to. especially since i was not close to the entrance, they certainly had been asked if they needed help by at least 3 - 4 others before happening upon me.

each couple was unique but the same. i saw in each one of them what happens when you share your life with your best friend. and as we spoke, i was both engaged in conversation with them - graciously included in their humorous comments about each others shopping habits, and how they both don't always like the same thing - as well as a spectator to their intimate banter...their own personal language, their secret code. i often witness this and find it fascinating and delightful...yes, to be able to find that secure niche in your relationship with someone who loves you back just for who you are must be a wonderful thing.

the circumstances of this particular couples day all seemed too coincidental. unusually so. is the universe trying to tell me something? perhaps. undoubtedly, after the fifth couple, i began to believe someone had a message for me. is it because i generally question myself on the practically of believing in the idea of finding love and sharing a life with my best friend?

such foolishness; it's late. i should stop thinking and send my brain to slumber.

*12.17.2006*

beauty and the beach

so i actually should be writing an essay but my professors encourage free writes to stimulate your flow...so here i am blogging for inspiration, of all things.

i woke up cold this morning and can't seem to shake the chill. i had breakfast - shredded wheat and banana; and now waiting for the sun to burn off the morning fog so i can go outside and seek a bit of warmth del sol. i am sitting here wishing that i was on the north shore...i hear the honu [that's sea turtles for you mainlanders] calling my name. i belong on the beach. it is my true bliss.

it started when i was a child...those beach days when my parents would fill up the wicker picnic basket and throw it into the car trunk along with blankets, my pails, shovels, and assorted items. those were happy times. here is dad and mom looking ultimately cool on santa monica beach. i took this snap of them when i was about six years old.

as the years passed, i soon began to take the big blue bus out to the santa monica pier on my own. i was a wanderer then...always looking for a place of solitude. on the not so warm days i would seek solace in a dark theater, otherwise, weather permitting, i found my happiness sitting on the warm sand staring out into the sea. the sounds of the ocean lulled me into a peacefulness...my escape from the disturbances at home. i lived in a fantasy world those days on the beach...imagining myself in the middle of a beach party or gidget movie...where everyone sang, danced, and surfed their way to a happy ending.

when i got the keys to my first ride - a `69 mustang [i AM a california girl!] - there was not a beach that i had not combed between san pedro to ventura. i found hidden coves and nude beaches. i found the locations for those gidget and beach party movies that i grew up on. i even found my first love playing in the sand in playa del rey. yes, just like in the movies, this gidget found her moondoggie on the beach! i would spend entire days on the beach until the sun was lost beyond the sea's horizon. the beach was the backdrop to all of the adventures of my youth. this beach bunny eventually became part of a cluster of teens who thought life was about nothing but hanging out on the beach. no matter where our group started out that day, somehow all roads led us to the ocean.

the ocean is powerful...i both love and fear it's amazing strength. when my feet are immersed into the wet sand, and the water envelopes my legs, i feel like i am sinking, connecting to the earth. i am in a state of bliss.

in the more recent years, i have discovered other beaches beyond the familiarity of my southern california coast....more tropical...balmy breezes, warmer waters, different sand composition. it started when a friend had asked me to accompany her on a dive trip in the bahamas...my first experience with a turquoise sea and white sand. the water was crystal clear...it blew me away. i spent 7 out of 8 days just lying out, absorbing the beach, and one day with my friend on the dive boat. it was beach therapy, and my first actual holiday in adult life.

as beautiful as the caribbean is, it is hawai'i that i truly fell in love with. it is my true love...and it is not just the beauty of the islands...the lush greenness of the mountains, the red earth of the country, the bluest of skies, the clearest of water, the trade winds in my hair, the sun bronzing my skin, or the food that takes me to heaven...it is the people who inhabit it. it is their aloha spirit. the connection was so incredibly intense when i was at kukaniloko. i couldn't describe it but i knew i had been there on that very spot in another life while babies were being born. i felt a sense of ohana; i belonged there, so easily connected with the people of the islands. it was my home.

when i was a little girl, i used to dream that i was living on an island in the pacific, in a beach hut on stilts over a dolphin filled lagoon...and maybe i did in a previous life because it is here in the pacific that my spirit felt the sense of belonging. i can't explain it to you any other way than that. the first time that i was on o'ahu, i knew that i had been there before. when i returned, i realized that my spirit was connected to this place. i am a pacific island girl...i need to explore this further...perhaps tahiti...moorea...fiji...

so now you get why i am happiest when playing on the beach. i would be completely content if i spent the rest of my days wearing board shorts and slippahs. of course, i could wrap a pareo around me for those special occasions. aloha.

dude, i totally forgot

dude, i so totally forgot to say it was my uncle's birthday today...may he RIP and his music live on forever!

happy birthday, uncle jelly roll!

got a blog...now what.

so like everyone is blogging these days. might as well blog with all of the writing that i do. but does anyone really care about what i think? and if they don't care, will i? most unlikely. i do have a collection of journals from over the years so i clearly have a lot on my mind. but no one gets to read those...when i die, maybe someone will publish them as my memoirs but names should be changed to save embarrassment for the living. they are filled with great stories.

my speech/rhetoric professor once said that i was a great storyteller. you decide. i did once have a blog somewhere in cyberspace when i was a rail-rider on BART - some folks found that entertaining. but i am not commuting so there goes that cast of characters to write about. guess it will just have to be my perceptions and experiences in regards to life. i will even occasionally throw in some wisdom from lessons learned and not learned. are you up for it?